How I ticked off an entire state with my craven desire for Joe Mauer

Minnesota Twins fans aren't taking too kindly to my column yesterday about how I think Joe Mauer will be a Yankee in 2011. In fact, they're up in arms over my shameless coveting of their team's best player. Imagine that.

Here's the story. In "AL MVP Joe Mauer - A Future Yankee," I wrote, "Why wouldn't he want to be a Yankee? Playing for the Bombers is the stuff dreams are made of!"

For some strange reason, Twins fans weren't exactly pleased over this post. Twin Cities fan Two Seam Fastblog was not amused, writing this in our comments section:

This needs to stop. Because you know what, Yankee fans, Mauer's not coming to you. You can't have him, because the Twins can afford him, and since they CAN afford him, they will retain him. Check back in 7 years, then maybe you can try a 33 year old Mauer. That seems fair. But if the Twins can offer 120M to Santana, they can offer 140M to Mauer. We have a new stadium. We have payroll room. We're not THAT small market, despite what a lot of Twins fans will lead you to believe.

Speaking of that new stadium, what's the over/under for snowouts? Ten?

TwoSeam continues:

Do you realize that every move the Twins' front office makes has to be passively approved by Mauer? He wanted the team to do something in terms of trades this past season. I give you, Carl Pavano, Orlando Cabrera, Jon Rauch, Ron Mahay, JJ Hardy. We locked up his best friend, Justin Morneau. He was asked for input on our new uniforms, for gods sake.

I'm snickering over how much former Yankee Carl Pavano has turned his career around in that he was actually a hot property for a playoff race this year. And yes, he did bring his A-game to the postseason. Too bad A-Rod beat him with his own A-game!

Yeah, you joyless bastards can dream, but I suppose you'll just have to rely on one of the most catching rich farm systems in baseball for 7 more years. Or for Brian McCann. Whatever. I'm just sick of you trivializing breaking the collective hearts of an entire region of the country. Because that's what losing Mauer would do to us. He isn't important to just Minnesota, but parts of Wisconsin, Iowa, the Dakotas. We kept Kirby Puckett on one of the biggest contracts in history (WOW SAME AGENT AS MAUER), and we'll keep Joe. Screw you guys.

So if Mauer becomes a Yankee, we'll have broken the hearts of not just a state, but a whole region of the U.S.? Cool!

C'mon, TwoSeam. Do you think this shameless play to my emotions will sway me? Remember, I'm a Yankee fan. I have no heart!

The commenter continued this argument at the blog Two Seam Fastblog.  Go there to read more of the case against this Squawker, in a post entitled "Thy Heartless New Yorkers shalt no longer Covet our Dear Mauer." I love it!


The Over The Baggy Twins fan site linked to my column as well; they were also not thrilled with Yankee fans drooling over Mauer.

And other Minnesota fans wrote into Subway Squawkers to give me grief. Myjah said:

Mauer isn't going to become a Yankee. Want to know why?

"I've had a chance to go up in the deer stand a few times, and everyone here knows that when you're up in the deer stand you think about a lot of different things," Mauer quipped. "Just about the type of year we had as a team, the run that we had. I think coming into the season, my goal personally was just to stay on the field. To be here sitting today and being the MVP is more than I could have ever imagined."

Yeah--up in his DEER STAND, probably by his log cabin in the middle of nowhere where he does things like mow his own lawn.

Do you really think Joe is aching to live/play in New York City so he can make even more millions of dollars?

The Twins will offer him the biggest contract in Twins history. With their new stadium, they can afford Joe. He'll stay in Minnesota by his grandparents (who come to every Twins game) and his deer stand. That's just the type of guy he is.

I used to live in Texas, where the opening day of deer season is as highly anticipated an event among hunters as the opening of the new "Twilight" movie is among teenagers. And this deer-hunting event happens everywhere in November. So Mauer could be a Yankee, and still come home to Minnesota and shoot to his heart's content in the offseason. Come to think of it, we have deer-hunting in the tri-state area as well. And with all the money Mauer could make as a Yankee, he could build the most souped-up deer stand ever, and wear an NY camouflage hat to boot!


John from Minneapolis did not think the possibility of endorsement money would not be what might sway Mauer to become a Yankee. He suggested a different reason:

I think that the lure of the pinstripes, in the sense of being part of a historic, championship organization, will be more of an enticement for Mauer than money. I think he really does want to play on a World Series team, and that will decide whether he stays in Minny or not.

I'm just waiting for when Mauer claims he grew up idolizing Don Mattingly, the way Mark Teixeira claimed in his first Yankee press conference.

By the way, Minnesota fans, I despise Brett Favre. My hatred for the Minnesota Vikings quarterback is long-standing and deep. I look forward to when he turns into a pumpkin again, the way Roger Clemens did in the 2007 ALDS. So there!


Photo by Keith Allison

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AL MVP Joe Mauer - A future Yankee?

Even this Yankee fan can concede that Minnesota Twins catcher Joe Mauer deserved the AL MVP award over Mark Teixeira and Derek Jeter. In fact, I wrote back in September the reasons why Mauer was worthy of the honor. So yes, Mauer earned that award. He didn't just have one of the greatest years by a catcher ever, but he got his team into the playoffs - the one thing critics held against him earlier in the year.

And Mauer deserved to win it unanimously; the only award Miguel Cabrera, who got one first-place vote, deserved this year was for highest blood alcohol level at 6 a.m. (Speaking of which, I was in a defensive driving class last week to get my 10% car insurance discount, and I asked the instructor if, with that level, Cabrera would still be drunk during that night's game. The answer was yes. Yeah, that's an MVP performance, alright!)

At any rate, Mauer winning MVP, and Zack Greinke winning AL Cy Young over CC Sabathia, doesn't bother me. Look, I'd rather the Yankees have the World Series championship than the MVP any day of the week. Remember how joyless it was when A-Rod won MVP in 2005 and 2007, after those disappointing postseasons?

Besides, at the risk of sounding like an arrogant Yankee fan, Mauer will be in pinstripes soon enough. Yes, I'm calling it - Joe Mauer will be a New York Yankee in 2011, when he is a free agent. There will be one year left on Jorge Posada's contract then, but my guess is that he will be the DH, as Mauer takes over behind the plate.

Yeah, yeah, I know how Mauer is a local guy who wants to stay close to home. And that the Twins, with their new stadium, will want to keep him. I still say he will be a Yankee. How often has it happened in recent years that the Yanks targeted a free agent they wanted, only to have him reject the Yankees? Unless you count Andy Pettitte running off to Houston, which is a bit more complicated than that, the last time I can remember free agents dissing the Yanks for elsewhere were John Smoltz and Roger Clemens turning the Yanks down in 1996. And the Rocket had a change of heart two years later.

Remember, CC Sabathia supposedly wanted to go to the West Coast. Johnny Damon was never going to betray the Red Sox to be a Yankee. Mark Teixeira was going to go to Boston. Andy Pettitte and Roger Clemens were going to stay in their Houston hometowns forever. Carl Pavano (okay, bad example!) could have gone to Detroit or Boston. And guess what? They all became Yankees. The siren call of pinstripes - not to mention the money - was too much to resist.

Besides, the thing is about being a Yankee is that it puts you in a whole other level of superstardom. Joe Mauer has arguably been the best all-around player in the league for years, but he will only get the attention he deserves if he puts on the pinstripes. Will Mauer get the ads Derek Jeter does if he stays in Minnesota? No. Will Mauer host SNL or get to introduce artists at the American Music Awards as a Twin? Doubtful. Even a Minnesota paper speculates about the endorsements wooing Mauer to the East Coast:

Million-dollar endorsement deals, from Nike to Gatorade to automobiles to razors — as New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter has — could be worth double and even triple what they would be playing in Minnesota.

I could be wrong on this - wouldn't be the first time! - but I think Mauer will become a free agent next year, get swept off his feet by the pinstripes, and be catching CC Sabathia's first pitch in 2011. Why wouldn't he want to be a Yankee? Playing for the Bombers is the stuff dreams are made of! (That sound you just heard is Squawker Jon's slow burn over my proclamation!)


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