Monday, February 23, 2009

What if these Yankees or Mets were in the White House?

Last month, Squawker Jon and I were featured on Yahoo Sports' Big League Stew - we wrote on what it would be like if certain Yankees or Mets were elected president. Click here to read our original piece.

Anyhow, we asked readers to come up with their own jokes, and we got some funny responses. Here are a few of them.

A reader named "1" wrote about these players as president (my fave is the President Beltran one):
  • President Jeter would have a new First lady every week.
  • President Strawberry and VP Gooden would be taking Air Force One on "Goodwill" missions to the Colombian jungles and returning with special care packages all of exactly 1 Kilo.
  • President Vince Coleman would sneak up on our enemies and throw cherry bombs and giggle like a school girl.
  • President Mantle would declare Johnny Walker, Jack Daniels, and Jim Beam his co-Chiefs of Staff
  • President Berra would baffle the rest of the world into submission with a non-stop barrage of Yogi-isms
  • President Beltran would end the War in Iraq, reduce the national debt, and hit 8 home runs in the months leading up to his election. Then chill for like a year without really doing anything after he's elected and then realize about 18 months in that he has to start accomplishing some things otherwise he won't be able to cash in on the lecture circuit when his term is up.
  • President DiMaggio would see how many consecutive bills he could safely sign without Congress voting them down.
  • And last but not least, Hot dog breaks every half page for President Babe Ruth during important speeches
Squawker reader acapelad wrote about what his beloved Red Sox players - both past and present - would do in the Oval Office:
  • if manny ramirez were president he would take a leak behind the curtain during the State of the Union address.
  • if johnny damon were president, the VP would have to take over for him in the middle of his speeches
  • if mark texiera were president, he would move the white house to NYC because his wife likes the shopping better
  • if joba was president, congress would move him to VP, then back to President, then .....
  • if roger was president, he would throw a paper weight at Putin during a treaty signing and claim he thought it was a pen
Do you have any jokes to add? Leave us a comment!

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